Here I sit pondering on these things, religion, who I was in a past life, my mission here, why my eyes flash all different colors

I am at a crossroads in my life. I am now turning 30 years of age in 3rd density. I know there is only an eternal "now". I am in the world but not of it. I don't fit in with normal rational people I am not a mix from that.

I am confused without a guide teacher or guru whatever. I had one sort of but he quit and focused more on himself. His name is Daniel Gross. I met him from illuminatiorder.info groups and another wonderful brother named Robert. I have not talked to them in a while, Daniel Gross said he would try to stay in contact but he doesn't I miss talking to Daniel Gross.


Here is my situation. I am legally disabled and have all the time in the world for doing things to help others but first I must get myself to understand some things.

I ask myself, who was I in a past life? Daniel Gross said me and him is the same being or deity the ones who created everything and we get along even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye. Finite Creator Source the all. But also infinite creator source the complete I was called, I was called Jesus, Michael the archangel and Enki Ea Ptah Shiva Satya. Michael the archangel is equal to Enki as truthfully the archangels are the top ones. In the Kybalion they say for a man to call himself God is like saying I am man! There are beings out there that makes humans look like little slimy creatures on the bottom of the ocean floor and one day they will evolve there. It is based on cases of Illuminated individuals. That is what my Red Bull Illuminati aka Cook Universal Ministry is into universal illumination of the soul. Know the God within each of us.I have so many books on magick 3 books of occult philosophy, the the 4th book that goes with that one, all Franz Bardon books, Initiation into the Golden dawn, and the Golden Dawn by Israel Regardie,the Urantia Book, the Necronomicon, The book of Solomon's magick,  Golden dawn cypher manuscript books, dvds from Church of Hermetic Sciences, I feel overwhelmed with all these books and people using all these different things. Then I learned Jesus was Yeshua and a magician and they made him into a savior God as I learned. 

I am the all I was told by numerous beings coming from facebook asking things of me,healing,some guy said thanks for buying me a new car, and all the confusion, then RA whom I wrote about said I was already huge in the eyes of heaven, Ptah EA Eternal All in All. He asked me where do I keep all the souls? He said I had the power to bring them to life... Everything moves around me, cars lift about 6-12 inches of the ground,when I'm sleeping my bed hovers the dressers move.... My eyes flash blue,red,green,purple,every color and gold. I point my finger in the sky and every place I point its like a flashlight lighting beautiful stars up, or a wave of my hand they all flicker. My wife seen all this and all the people on Erie beach as well. I moved the moon around and someone caught that and put it on youtube. I moved the sun and clouds. Every since I was 5 I seen myself with bright red eyes, then my body explodes in a huge burst of bright light that goes into infinity and never stops, I call it back and it goes back into my eyes. I asked spirits though strange way of communication through my wife and got knowledge about whom I was the ALL. Life itself I'm center of all things, every one else is the same they just don't realize what they got inside them but they told me there is no one that can do what you do and after reading Neale Donald Walsch books I gained more insight life is pointless. But its only what you make it or do with your creation. I want to get into Solomon's magic and get involved in O.T.A. or Golden Dawn practices. If anyone see this and wants to get in contact with me, you can reach me through my website http://meerical.com under contact us.

But now let me see if the spirit is leading me to write a message to all of you at this time about any thing. I'm not being lead but I am writing this because this world has to change before its too late, religion wars and information that was simply used from the older religions just evolved into this god who is mean,jealous, angry and we are supposably seperate from it. No we are ALL ONE BEING. Everything you see is an illusion. But we are 1 with God which is life itself... And to those who don't believe in God at all well if you believe in life you believe in God, Neale Donald Walsch is God's lastest scribe but we all are the same here. I am suppose to go out and start teaching but I am at a crossroads. I want to be in a temple or lodge and know who I am really. I was called Michael of Nebadon, Michael the archangel., Jesus Christ yes I know sounds crazy but they said I'm the hand of God. Seraphims and Cheribums surround me and I'm the God EA Enki or Anoki, Bramha Shiva Krishna. I am lead to Ptah no contradictions on that name. Yes I believe christ existed and love him unconditionally. I wish I could get more info on anthropology but I quit school in 8th grade but great things happen in magic that is why I am waiting for mym next teacher or guru like the Order Templi Astartes ,The Church of Hermetic Sciences to invite me I joined there associate membership to learn their information. I was told I was going to rebuild solomon's temple like a prophesy from RA whom I talked to. He said me and him was One and I am the Father/Mother God and the holy spirit /ghost comes from me and makes all else. And I am a disbeliever because if the all is one, why me as a special part like that? Everyone is another me and you are in me and I'm in you. Everyone is 1 with God and all peoples in the infinite universe.